Going into the new year I have resolutions for both physical and mental health. For my mind I want to make a conscience effort to be mindful of my actions and thoughts. I am going to pay attention to feelings of lust, jealousy, insecurity, anger, impatience and even ignorance. These are very toxic emotions that for me create a very unhappy and unfulfilled life. It will take practice, but whenever I feel one of those emotions I want to analyze the feeling and decided how to rid myself of that emotion.
Impatience and Ignorance
I often feel impatient with Little Wright and even ignorant of her feelings and actions sometimes. It’s a challenge to understand her temperaments. Not only that, but she’s a smart kid and I think I have higher expectations than I should. When it comes down to it she is a tiny little human being still learning about the world around her. I want to be more compassionate of her needs and less ignorant of the fact she is 3 years old and will have melt downs and even do mean things. Mr. Wright and I are her teachers. It is our job to show her otherwise and I want to make that my train of thought.
When I feel impatient I will stop and think: how important is this to make me feel upset? Is me getting impatient or annoyed going to help Little Wright in anyway? How can I better react? I’ve practiced being more mindful the last few weeks and it really has helped. It makes me feel more calm and in turn actually makes her feel more calm. I am her parent and it is from her parents she is learning how to behave and act. I want her to be a sweet person. A patient person. A happy person. I am the one that needs to set that example. So going into the new year I will practice controlling impatience and ignorance.
Another emotion I want to combat is anger. I don’t have anger issues. Honestly! However there are certain discussions or topics that get me heated because I am so compassionate and passionate about them. Like gay rights for example. That discussion gets me riled up and makes me want to be mean to the people who are being mean. But really all it does is make me bitter and it’s toxic to feel that way. Instead I want to come from a place of understanding (which is super hard!) so I’m not ignorant for one and for two so I can understand how to more efficiently discuss my opinion.
The only way to teach or change people to be more compassionate towards gay rights is to be that way myself. Take something negative and be positive. You don’t have to agree with or like a homosexual lifestyle, but be compassionate in the fact that all humans deserve the fundamental right to happiness so long as no one is being harmed. Me getting riled up just puts other people on the defense. And as soon as someone becomes defensive they lose all sense of logic and become emotional and just want to be right or prove a point. I’d much rather not put someone on the defense and make them think.
Lust, Jealousy and Insecurity
Lust and jealousy are emotions I don’t feel very often, but those too are poisonous. I do sometimes feel blog envy of people who seem to be able to do it all. The mom that makes breakfast, lunch and dinner all from scratch. The woman who has a perfectly decorated and clean home, is the perfect hostess and attends all the social events and oh by the way has the perfect marriage. Yeah, it can make me feel a little jealous sometimes. But I’ve come to realize a few things. One, to let that feeling go. And instead of feel jealous feel appreciative. Being jealous makes you stagnant. Being appreciative allows you to learn and improve your own self. Another I’ve come to learn is a blog is a place for people to showcase something there are the good at. Of course people want to display their talents and best ideas and work. But the truth is we are all human. We all feel a little insecure at some point and overwhelmed and frustrated even. But as with the other emotions I will feel jealousy and lust from time to time. It’s normal. It’s up to me to control it. If there is a person or situation who constantly makes me feel like that (the on uppers ) then I will remove them from my life. One of my favorite sayings is “If it doesn’t bring you joy, beauty or happiness, get rid of it”.
I am going to practice meditation to help reflect and analyze any faults that have developed so I can inhibit more favorable and positive qualities. I’m reading Becoming Enlightened by the Dalai Lama and one of the daily practices he suggests is reciting the following mantra in the morning:
“Destructive emotions will arise, but I will not voluntarily rush into them. Today I will do whatever I can to read texts, reflect on their meaning, and work at developing wisdom. I will also do whatever I can to generate altruistic intention to become enlightened and implement compassion in my behavior. May whatever obstructs the generation of these practices be pacified.”
Looking forward to hearing what others are committing to for the new year